Tuesday, November 23, 2010

My Machiavellian Mother

I sometimes wonder if my mom dying wasn't a nefarious plan to:

a) Ensure that I go for my physical in time to stand a chance of living past 43
b) Make me behave myself owing to the responsibilities of pet parenthood.
c) Give up smoking because I'll be living on time I borrowed from her (she knows me. I probably will)
d) Make me stop listening to heavy metal

If that's the case, I can hardly be annoyed with her for a and b. I rather like the idea of living a bit longer, and as for the pets, they're great fun.

I'm not overly happy about point c, although its something I suppose one really ought to do. Problem is, I really like smoking - have done for over twenty years. Sigh.

As for point d, its the worst of the lot. All I have to do is switch on Sepultura and the cats bolt. It isn't only heavy metal that makes them do that. Classical music seems to have the same effect and my guess is that all the genres in between will do likewise. I need music!

On top of it all, I might have to give up playing the flute altogether because the bolder of the two cats heads off for at least twelve hours the moment I let fly with it and the timid one tucks herself into a corner and won't come out for days on end. Its not that bad, really it isn't! The guitar and keyboard will have to remain unplugged indefinitely by the looks of things.

The dogs are merely bewildered by music, but you get a picture of Marigold who, despite her soppy name, managed to do in a rat on the weekend. Good going, girl!


  1. Cats are evil. You should sacrifice them to Almighty Satan while listening to Cannibal Corpse, and then go out for pizza.

  2. I likey da smoke !!

    Been doin' it for 27 years ! (cough!!)

  3. Well, you are thinking about taking care of youself and that is the first step! For the record, my cancer was NOT caused by smoking and the voodo doctors ran $20,000 worth of tests to try to prove it was! It wasn't!

  4. You're young; giving up smoking will allow you to keep playing the flute--the cats will sing along at some point. Smoking is an expensive, awful habit--I still stupidly do it while taking medicines to help me breathe. Be smart.

  5. Living longer is not a bad aspiration in my opinion; and it certainly beats most other options apart perhaps from immortality. But baby steps eh? Perhaps you can work up to that?

    Giving up smoking isn't so bad, certainly not after the first couple of years or so have passed. Till then? Well, you just have to avoid social situations which typically have you reaching for a cigarette. So how does not going out for 2 years sound? As for the inevitable doubling or even trebling of your body-weight, it's compensated by folk saying, "erm... oh, you do look well!". Nice eh?

    If anyone can do it, you can!

  6. You know, kiddo, you sound content. Perhaps play the music at a lower volume until the babes get use to it. As Hallie says, they will in time.
    I smoked from early teens until age 30. It's been over 18 years since I quit. It took me a year of quitting to actually QUIT. It's worth the fight. Hardest thing I ever did, but worth it.
    Yet, another entertaining post. You just crank them out!

  7. Grant: If I put on Cannibal Corpse, I won't see the cats for the dust. Does Marigold catching a rat suffice for sacrifice? If not, perhaps I can try catching one with my teeth - I'll have the right sound track!

    Heff: Sigh. Me too. Even lovey it!

    Stonepost: It's so unfair, really. My mom lived a very healthy life: no alcohol, no smoking and no processed food. It didn't help her. My likewise 'healthy' sister in law (who is about my age) has to monitor her blood pressure several times a day. I've never bothered about health: I eat badly, smoke like a chimney and drink. Ok, so I've got cancer, but then so did my mom, and she missed all the fun I've had in the name of health. Go figure

    HWF: I don't really want to stop. That's the problem. I'm going to have to do some self-convincing. As you can see, I've started already~ One of my late dogs used to 'sing with' when I played - he even used to try and carry a tune!

    Ronald: Immortality? If I can have forever to get it right in I should succeed. Smoking: Oh dear. Years! Years? I'm going to crave for years? Weight-gain? That's adding insult to injury! Oh hells, I'm persuaded. Not even for mummy :) Sigh. No. I suppose I should give it a try. Be glad you're on another continent, this one will tremble!

    PAMO: Agh yes, I'm very well-content. I have a talent for happiness, so I think. More respect to you than ever for managing to quit (you too Ronald). I shall be ever so crotchety though. Perhaps I should start a crotchet blog :)