Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Milk of Paradise

Coffee is marvelous stuff. I’ll freely admit to addiction. I like it strong enough to have an effect that makes all cry ‘Beware! Beware! The flashing eyes, the floating hair!’

I think that quote was originally Coleridge. He must have been fond of coffee too, although, if I remember correctly, he had a proclivity for something even stronger. Coffee does it for me, though.

I make good coffee. The spoon stands up in the cup and quivers from the caffeine overdose. I add just enough milk to make it a murky, dark-chocolate shade of brown. There could be little Loch-Ness-like monsters in it; it’d be appropriate.

I haven’t ever had my morning wake-up cup in an alert state – that only happens after coffee - but I wouldn’t be surprised if my fingernails lengthened into claws as a take the first sip of the day. ‘Aaaaah!’ Or possibly ‘Arrrggggh’! Maybe even ‘Rowwwrrr!’ As I’ve said, I’m not really in a state to notice which at that time.

As you can imagine, it’s pretty energizing and I arrive at work vibrating and wide-eyed. Good stuff – it makes my boss think I’m madly enthused, even in the morning, so she doesn’t come near me because she isn’t, especially not in the morning.

Of course it could just be that the first cuppa causes me to grow fangs – I should probably look in the mirror to see if it does. I think fangs would suit me, really.

There are so many drinking songs, but not many about coffee. I can think of ‘Black Coffee’ and ‘Forty cups of coffee’ and that’s about it. Neither of them is particularly cheerful. Both, if I remember correctly, having to do with a person waiting up late for their partner.

I think a really good carousing song should be written about coffee. I’ll consider it.

I suppose a dawn picture is appropriate to this post…


  1. You are not alone! I love my morning coffee, and really, my favorite is some kind of African mix from Starbucks, bless their heart!
    I think you have hit upon a winning idea! Starbucks needs a theme song!!! McDonalds has one, and Burger King, why not Starbucks? and I can say I knew you before you became famous!

  2. I like my coffee like my men - STRONG & BLACK !

    Hey, just kiddin' :)

  3. LOL... you're hilarious...I can honestly tell you that I have never ever had a drink of coffee in my entire life. Yup, you heard it hear first, no coffee... Not a tea drinker either... I have to have milk.. ha ha ha... really! Sad but true!

  4. I savored EVERY WORD of your post. EVERY WORD!!! I LOVE coffee, lovelovelovelovelove coffee.
    WAAAAAHHHHHHH... it gave me a stomach ulcer so I can no longer drink it. WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    I'll enjoy it through you. Thank you for a fantastic memory!

  5. Oh and a beautiful photograph. Your writing makes me cry with joy.

  6. Crap--I lost my comment. I think KD Lang sings about coffee and cigarettes. I have home-brewed Starbucks (3 cups) every morning; yet it takes hours for me to get moving. I need your spoon-at-attention coffee.

    Who's up at dawn taking photos?

  7. Love the pic Mm!
    My grandson was chosen to sing in the Victorian Boy's Choir [bragging] and he sings a lovely little 'ditty' about coffee. Must see if I can get him to write out the words for me when he visits in December.
    Lived on coffee after Jeremy's accident.Does help if you balance the coffee with food. Paying the price now with a body that needs alkalising. Oh well!!!

  8. Stonepost: great Idea! Fame and fortune here I come!

    Heff: I like mine sweet and coloured :)

    AG: Your very good health, ma'am!

    PAMO: One of the worst experiences ever was when I was banned from drinking coffee for a year. Also ulcers. Turned out I had gallstones (you want to know this don't you?) and that coffee drinkers are prone to them and that they cause ulcers. Did a dreadful purge on the advice of my doctor and was as sick as a dog for a weekend, but then I could eat and drink everything. Joy!

    HWF: Great! You're invited! You will be set up on my veranda with an easel and fed as much coffee as you can drink!

    Chez: Ah the joy of being up at dawn - oh alright, its not unadulterated joy, but it is lovely to see. I also lived on coffee for a time - not good. While coffee is nice, food is essential! Still, I know the feeling when your tummy knots up into a tight ball and solids just won't go down.

  9. PS: .. and I'd love to get the lyric of that song!