Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Botox and sixpack

I'm so gorgeous today that I could eat myself: lips as puffy and pouting as a supermodel's and without having cost me a cent either.

The beauty secret I've discovered mayn't be for just anyone, though, because it involves head butting a six pack of beer (in the dark, I have an excuse) and splitting your lip open a bit. Then you grab your mouth, jump up and down, say 'Ouch - Ouch - Ouch' and laugh at the same time. (I'm not sure if this step is absolutely necessary, but it was fun). Then you drink the beer and it soothes away the discomfort and tastes nice while you're at it.

Beer's great value: first it expanded my chest, and now its puffing up my lips, plus I get to drink it (which is why I initially bought it in case you were wondering). Plastic surgery would have cost me a bomb, and I wouldn't have got a thing to drink, not even a cup of tea. Ripoff.


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  2. I like to think I've a pretty wide appreciation of drinks, especially of those amber in colour which are generally dispensed in half or pint measures (or their metric equivalent), but when it comes down to it, I'm quite emphatic as to what constitutes the best, regarding beer versus ale. The former, typically lagers, tend to be chilled and their yeasts "bottom feeders" in the brewing vessel. Ales on the other hand are brewed and enjoyed at room temperature; and unlike their cousins, the beers, their yeasts are "top feeders". For me, they're top in every way. 

Here in Britain there's an ever-growing array of "blonde" thru to darker ales, some tart, some sweet, or relatively so, but most of them, or the best in my view, having a distinctive "hoppy" flavour. That's not to say I don't see the place for beer, especially in warmer climes when, after a hot day at work, or a hard days hike, ice-cold beer is most welcome; but if a decent ale is at hand, I'll opt for it every time. Can't say it does much for me physically though, inasmuch as, I don't remember any signs of swelling or puffing after it's imbibition, but that's not necessary... after a couple of pints, it hits the spot, and I THINK I'm special. 

Hope your injury is not too painful.

  3. Twas before. I headbutted the pack on the way out of the car. When I've imbibed, I sit quietly and don't get into trouble :)