Monday, December 20, 2010

Calculating cats

I used to have no cats and my life was my own. I was In Charge. Ah, the mastery of those bygone days when no-one slept on top of me unless I asked them to.

Then my mum departed this mortal coil leaving me in possession, or rather, possessed by the following:

There is a rather striking and demanding Tom. ‘Attention please’ is a phrase that he communicates quite easily and occasionally with claws. One respects him: he is large and aristocratic-looking and has yellow eyes.

In addition, there was a pair of luminous green eyes that lived under the bed. They lurked. They blinked. Later, the pair of eyes grew some whisker, or seemed to as their owner got nearer to the edge of the bed.

The metamorphosis was a slow one, but in time, the pair of eyes under the bed has become an entire cat (though a very tiny, slightly tatty, very old one), and of late, a cat all over the house

Now she's a cat on my computer. I came in off the veranda this evening, it being cold (16 centigrade - eat your hearts out Northeners) and found that the cat had been interrogating my computer.

She was right in the systems menus, and browsing away through some directory I didn’t even know was there. She had also typed a word document. It was in code. I’m not sure if she managed to email it to anyone. She probably knows how to cover her tracks, she’s forever doing that after using the cat litter. Nefarious, I tell you!

Anyway, Ms Shy and Retiring is currently saying ‘Yeeow!’ in her cracked, old-cat voice, so someone had better attend to her.

I shall have to watch that cat.


  1. No strange emails in my Inbox lately!
    Seems you have 'inherited' a smart cat Mm. We could do with one that is prepared to get the field mice, maybe the odd rat, that find their way to our door.

  2. Andrea, I have another author for you! Kristjana Gunnars. She is very googleable, has an unusual writing style part poetry, part prose. write about longing and identity in all her books. I knew her when she was 17 so I am rediscovering her. Interesting. Cats? I have one and my "shop kitty". They own me, I do not own them.

  3. I love cats. I have an old girl that is 20. She is soon to pass I can tell. I had another one that died at 20 a few years ago. I have had a cat every year of my life that I can remember. Good writing :)

  4. Cats are "of the devil".

    Yeah, I said it, lol.

  5. Love the post. Glad to see Misty is enjoying the light now. She's obviously a very smart cat. Beware of smart cats...they can make your life hell or heaven whenever they please; and an old smart cat, well they just don't give a rat's ass about consequences, LOL.

  6. I am allergic to cats and ironically, my neighbours cat, thinks she is my cat. Yup, walks in and makes herself at home... Secretly, I love her, not so secretly, she knows it!

  7. Both Tom and Ms. Shy are beauties! How wonderful that that ole gal has so taken to you. Your post has warmed my heart.
    As you know, I have six cats and haven't been in charge in years.

  8. Ms Shy and Retiring emailed me--said she was worried that you might spill coffee on her computer. She's watching.

  9. How funny! My mom read "The Cat Who" mystery series. This reminded me of them!

  10. I'm thinking of adopting a cat. They are fascinating creatures.

  11. Chez: Cats are useful too, its true - but my best ratter is the middle-sized dog!

    Stonepost: I'll have to look out for that author in the bookstores. Sometimes, not having a credit card is a pain, but it's just as well I don't have one - I'd bankrupt myself on

    Bama Trav: Thanks for popping by, you must be a very good pet parent indeed!

    Grant: Nah, they eat all the fish before it can become Sushi - totally undisciplined.

    Heff: I used to have a cat called Lulucifer.

    CW: I remember your good advice when I was worrying if she'd ever emerge. Knew you'd be glad she did!

    AG: Cats are madly attracted to anyone whose allergic to them! Its a cat thing.

    PAMO: I always knew you were someone special, but six cats? You grow in my esteem continually.

    HW: Hah! Was it in code? Did she sign it with a paw print? Next thing she'll be demanding computer time, and my guess is, you'll back her up on that!

    Raena: So did my mum! I've inherited a full set of those, and I suppose I'll be reading them next too!

    Israel: They're great! As long as you are ready to worship one, you'll do fine!

  12. To funny, so glad your kitty finally came out from under the bed.

  13. Note to Israel: what? You are considering adopting a cat? You need to learn omne teeny, tiny thing: you do not adopt a cat. A cat will adopt you. Go to your local SPCA and the cat will choose you.