Friday, September 17, 2010

Millennium hand and shrimp!

I always liked the idea of being a mutterer. Terry Pratchett uses the word to describe a beggar called 'foul old Ron' who follows his targets while muttering sheer nonsense: 'Millennium hand and shrimp.. I told them, I told them...' until they pay him to go away.

Well, so far no-one's paying me to shut up and inflicting bad art and worse poetry haven't achieved my end, so I suppose I'll just have to come to terms with not being a proper mutterer after all.

It was always going to be a long shot though, because I don't smell bad enough. I don't think I'll work on that aspect of being a mutterer, because I have a nice bath with hot water on tap. I might have given it a shot at my old place, except that buckets of cold water seemed preferable at the time.

So if I really wanted to be a mutterer, I'd have been in a good position to do so, but maybe I don't want it after all which leads me to a song as follows: Ahem... twiddles guitar.. looks self-conscious... chunders forth a shaky riff...

I could get what I want
If I knew what I want
Wish I could find a way
To find out what I want!

Verse 1:
Met a guru so old
And he made very bold
He said do just what I say
You know I've found the way
So I gave him my cash
Guess it was kind of rash
I was trying to buy a way
To find out what I want

Met a man with a pill
That could give you a thrill
He said: 'Try this little thing'
'The answer Lies within!'
Now I'm feeling so strange
And my mind's rearranged
And I still don't know a way
To find out what I want.

Verse 3
So I went up a hill
And I sat very still
And suddenly I knew
Exactly what I want
Now there's no hit and miss
And the answer is this
I really want
To know what I want

Bows out to thunderous applause and increased notoriety. Mutters 'Millennium hand and shrimp'

Today's pic. A hill on which enlightenment may or may not be found.


  1. I don't see any enlightenment. Is it behind the tree?

  2. I want to meet the man with the pill

  3. The world, as you know, is made up of two different kinds of people: Pratchett-people, non-Pratchett people, and Greebo.
    I knew that you am a Pratchett-people. Gramatically speaking, that were.
    Niced lyrics, too.

  4. All I want is a little more than I'll ever get.(Not original to Pamo.)
    All I want is to be original. (Well that one is stated as an original thought, but I doubt it is. I seriously doubt it. OK- it's not.)

  5. We have a mutterer in my small town; we like him, and he's an extremely handsome man. He warns us of many things and, if I'm behind his car at the stoplight, he seems to be conducting an orchestra.

    It's okay to be a mutterer--your poems, though, aren't mutterings. I like this one and the one from yesterday.

  6. Grant: If you can't SEE it, you'll never find it! Cheez! Isn't it obvious?

    Karl - if you haven't met him yet, I'll be very surprised.

    AW: I'm Greebo! I'm Greebo!

    PAMO: There's none like you - a true original in every sense of the word.

    HW: We have one too (complete with smell)not firing on all cylinders, as the saying goes, but part of the local scene. I think people are fond of him. Will you paint your mutterer? Sounds like a character. Ours is very picturesque. I gave him new shoes, but he never wears them. Perhaps he likes the air circulation through his broken sneakers.