Friday, September 10, 2010


Yesterday, while I was working diligently at performing minor miracles as is my habit, and as is herewith depicted, I was startled by a dreadful cry of 'Argharghargharrrrghhh'. Issuing from the direction of the boss' house.

'He's hurt himself! Something terrible is happening! Disaster! Flood! Fire!' thought I, and I was up in a flash and dashing to avert, alleviate or admire (whichever would be appropriate) the carnage.

On reaching a suitable vantage, I was more horrified than ever. 'He's finally lost it! Executive stress has never been this bad! We're going to need elephant tranquilizer'! There was my boss, running around the garden roaring and waving a long stick with which he hit the roof of the house with great energy. Bang! Thump! Aaarggggh! While chipped paint rained down from the gutters like dandruff.

An audience gathered, poised to flee lest his insanity should extend to hitting people with the long stick. He tore around the side of the house yelling and emerged again, grinning.

'Baboons! They were in the kitchen eating fruit.' He explained as soon as he had got his breath back.

The whole performance had been in the nature of declaring his supremacy over his territory in a way these primates would understand, and sure enough, there they were, loping towards the garden wall and disappearing over it with alacrity.

He says he scared them by persuading them that he was the alpha baboon, but maybe they, like us, had merely thought him crazy. Whatever it was, they haven't been back despite the lure of the fruit bowl.


  1. From now on be sure to refer to him as the alpha baboon, especially in front of other management.

  2. Next time he does that toss him a banana

  3. OMG!!!!! Thank you for the laugh, I so needed that today!

  4. Fantastic post!
    The photo of you looks as if it was taken at the start of the ruckus. And your desk shows signs of someone sorely overworked. Miracle workers are in great demand however, so it's doubtful you will see a clear desk anytime soon.
    His alpha male trick is very inventive and I'll bet he had a hell of a good time doing it.
    'Baboons in the Kitchen' sounds like a chapter of your future book, does it not? Hmm???

  5. too bad they didn't attack... good times indeed!

  6. Baboons i8n the kitchen? BABOONS?!! Here in good ole NZ the worst we have to wory about it the odd earthquake, or the next-door-neighbour's tortoisershell cat coming over to beat up our tubby calico cat.
    Sigh. I wonder who has the better of it...

  7. I've done some catch-up here, though you are so prolific, I can't possibly read all I missed. I have two reactions to this: (1) Sounds like my boss, only she is a woman; and (2) Looks like there are at least two eccentrics in one office! Looks like you will have to go elsewhere to stand out.

  8. What ho, back on BS again ... just read my way up to date, love your turn of phrase, like when you were talking about your camera: "It's like being in love, only easier because there’s an owner’s manual and instructions for use." That sentence is so perfect I want to put it on my wall. Sammy

  9. Grant: he's got enough of a sense of humour not to mind, so its a bit pointless :)

    Israel: Good idea - except that the baboons got the nanas!

    AG: Glad I was able to convey the hilarity of the situation!

    PAMO: Thanks for the sympathy. Might just put a match to the desk someday. Then the work will just disappear! Aha! It would make a good chapter title, wouldn't it? Perhaps one day...

    AW: The baboons are a bit pesky, but its nice knowing that nature still has a say around here. Porcupines are also regular visitors, and there are occasional leopards in the mountains, and caracal are quite common - common enough that you don't want to keep chickens in these parts!

    Dan: I kind of like being the 'sane' one for once in my life! Thanks as ever for popping by.

    PT: Yippee! You're back. Never got around to looking for you in word press, though I'd meant to. It'd be nice if love came with an instruction booklet, wouldn't it? Ah, but then again, where would the mystery go?

  10. This was a great laugh for me this morning! Thanks!